I am going to be gone from Newgrounds for a bit. I am not feeling very well anymore. My memory is very shaky. I can't distinguish between past and present or whats in my head or in reality sometimes.
Because of my lack of deep sleep, i get horrible nightmares. Not the kind with monsters and people dying. No, its repeats of things that was never said and things that was never done. Chooses made or not made, things I regretted. Like a re-run of everything you want to forget.
I have a very hard time realizing what role I am in. I act in a way I would normally not act around certain people, because I mistake them for somebody else. Or my memory play a trick on me and I see them as I saw them years back and behave thereafter.
I try to listen to music, play games and watch movies that link memories to my childhood. Its seems my long time memory is the memory to suffer the most. So, by doing that, it might fill out some huge holes in my memory. (at least for a second)
We'll see if it gets better when school stars and after I finally get to the sleep lab.
I might stalk the forum sometimes and you might see me in the chat. Depends on how sick I am.
Some days are better, some are almost to the point of being normal, and some days I pass out when trying to get into the bathtub.
Today was one of those bathtub days.
- See yah! Love Trix